Maybe A New Blog Title Is In Order

Maybe I am testing the powers that be. Maybe I should just stop asking, "what's next?"

I began to feel that my life was on target several months ago. I became a volunteer rape/crisis advocate. Callie and I began sharing a special bond and we've really enjoyed each other. I love holding her little hand as we walk to the car. I love our conversations. I love the way she hugs and I love being loved by her.

I planned a cruise for Zack, Brooke and myself. And we had a great time sharing new experiences and seeing things together. It was great.

I visited Vicki in Boston---a great trip, saw some of Maine, had my first boiled Maine lobster---fresh from the sea THAT day! We visited Salem, Kennebunkport...and had a great time.

I was on a roll!

Then, over Labor Day wekend, I lost a great friend. My friend Cindy died unexpectedly and I made a fast trip to Baton Rouge to see her family and go to the funeral. Cindy's death was a loss for many people and I have felt honored that we were friends.

I got home about 10:30 PM on the 7th of September---drove straight through in constant rain, sometimes driving down the Interstate between Lafayette and Nachtitoches about 15 MPH. Planned to go in to work a little late the next morning.

I awoke to the fan stopping and knew the electricity had stopped. Looked into the backyard and Rush Creek had crept up onto my patio. The backyard was a lake. I dressed quickly, picked up my still-packed overnight bag, rounded up the dogs and we piled into the car in a torrential downpour. I barely made it out of the neighborhood. Streets were flooding with fast currents of water, sirens were blaring and firetrucks were blocking street accesses.

I had to travel to an unfamiliar vet's office (on higher ground) to get the dogs boarded. Luckily, they agreed to take Lexie and Katie and call their regular vet for shot records, etc.

I started my way to Ruth's house and had texted Zack about the rising water, called Ruth to tell her I was on my way. And, knowing from previous experiences with rising creek waters, this time it was BAD. By this time, I could hear helicopters, more sirens and there was water everywhere. I was distraught, crying and fed up.

I got to Ruth's house two hours later, we went to pick Callie up at her school, went back to Ruth's house. A friend of Ruth's called her to tell her that she saw my house on the noon news. We turned on the TV and saw film of people being rescued by helicopter in my neighborhood.

I called my great across-the-street neighbors and was told that it was very bad. Gene estimated that there was four feet of water inside my house.

That's when I felt that my life had changed and I felt that familiar hole in my being as I had when Clu Flu died. Granted, it wasn't the same.....but I knew that I had lost almost every material reminder of my life memories over 59 years.

It is 30 days past that initial shock and destruction and I have been blessed in many ways through this misfortune. I am truly thankful for the out-pouring of love, concern, caring and support that I have received.

But, I know that hole will remain for a very long time. There have been MANY frustrations with trying to problem-solve and re-build some semblance of my life.

It's a process....and I'm still trying to figure out how to make this a meaningful learning experience and a way to build strength and fortitude.

I'm not going to ask "what's next?" for a long time to come.

Been There, Done That

We're back in the Lower 48 now. I am somewhat transformed...much more relaxed and very appreciative of the ability and opportunity to have visited some of Alaska.

The panoramic views of Alaskan wildlife and sea/landscapes were amazing to behold.

If life's turns had been a little different after college, I probably would have been in Alaska or at least the Southwest today, having worked for the Indian Health Service all these years...but one can only speculate.

If Alaska is a glimpse of what Heaven may be after we depart our worldly shell, then, I'm a believer!

A New Frontier

Like everyone, I have a few regrets tucked away from previous life experiences. The rewarding and positive things totally outnumber the regrets. I look forward to many rewarding things in my life and am in awe of all the greatness life has to offer us.

Zack, Brooke and I are taking an Alaskan cruise in two weeks. This has taken alot of planning and decision-making. There are so many great excursions to choose for Juneau, Ketchikan, Sitka and Victoria BC ports. Between e-mails and phone discussions we finalized our plans today.

Alaska has been on my to-do list for at least 15-18 years. Clu Flu and I always planned to go, but it never materialized...kids' summer activities, summer camps, family vacations, no time to get away, etc. all got in the way of making final plans to do this. Not pursuing our plans for Alaska is one of my biggest regrets. It would have been a great thing for us to experience together.

That has not minimized my excitement in taking this cruise with Zack and Brooke. They are more adventurous (and younger) than me, and they are taking bike rides, zip-line expeditions in rainforest, sea kayaking and dog-sledding/glacier helicopter tours. I will visit a totem village, watch whales; explore for brown bears/bald eagles, sea otters; take a tram to top of a mountain; and examine old Russian architecture. We will all explore Glacier Bay from the ship.

I will eat wild salmon and Alaskan King Crab as much as I can. I will enjoy sitting on our verandah and watching the landscapes, glaciers, sunrises/sunsets.

We plan our short time in Victoria, BC to just sight-see, visit an English pub and just enjoy each others' company. What memories I will have from this trip!

I am humbled and overwhelmed to be able to share this trip with them. Clu Flu will be with us, I'm sure.

If I Had Been Tempted In The Garden Of Eden

If I had been roaming the Garden of Eden instead of Eve, maybe there would have been a different outcome. You see, I can resist the temptation of an apple..no matter how red, unblemished, crisp or sweet....I am able to turn 'em down. "No thank you, I'm fine." "Yes, that is a beautiful apple, but I'll pass."

Remember, even Snow White was tempted by the mean Queen's red, juicy apple. Look what happened to Snow White...a premature demise, a deep sleep.

My temptation would be a glorious, red, full of sunshine tomato. And we are in the midst of the "season of the tomato." Just give me a just-plucked warm, red tomato from the vine and a shaker of salt---I AM IN HEAVEN! I have stood in the middle of my Dad's garden in July, canvassing for the ripest tomato within sight; I have reached down to hold it in my palm, gingerly feeling its weight and girth. The warmth of that tomato on the vine and the smell of the tomato sends me into a state of excitement coupled with the thought that life just can't be better than this.

As I have snapped the tomato from the stem of the plant with just a slight twist and felt the remnants of dew from the leaves as my hand reached through the branches, I anticipate the first bite. I gently rub the tomato against my jeans to knock off any errant sand granules and with the salt shaker in my left hand, I bring the fruit to my mouth. With eyes closed to experience its flavor without distraction, I lean forward to take that first bite. I know from experience that the juice will run down my arm as I take that bite. Then, I shake some salt over the excised and exposed area of the tomato flesh and take the second grand bite. I have no words worthy to describe the flavor. I eat that tomato and walk forward down the row of tomato plants to find my chaser tomato.

You see, Satan would never have tempted Eve with a tomato. For centuries, tomatoes were believed to be poisonous. Satan's goal was to make Eve suffer, not to kill her. And then Eve convinced Adam to take a bite of apple...you know the rest of the story.

The next time you pick a tomato from the grocer's shelf or from a basket at a road-side produce stand, remember that if Eve had eaten the tomato instead of the apple....we might all be living in the Garden of Eden, unclothed, happy, healthy and enjoying fruits of our Lord's bounty.

Oops! I did it again.

You may remember a post titled "Lexie's Lucky Day." It was almost 2 years ago. Well, guess what. That's right, I did it again this evening. One significant difference was that I was wide awake as opposed to the previous time when I was groggy at 6:00 AM.

The other significant difference was this time, I reached down to pick up her bowl the very second I poured 3 cups of kibble into it. Bad idea. Lexie remains very quick when it comes to gastronomical satisfaction. The growl and jaw clamp from her caused me to jerk my right hand away from the bowl.

I rationalized that two times making this blunder in two years wasn't too bad. Lexie thinks it's pretty damn cool.

Analyze This

Had a rare remembrance of a dream this morning. I never have awakened memories of my dreams, but this morning, I did. My dream was very jumbled and there were quite a few components that were unrelated and made no sense.

Points: I was at my childhood home. The house was uninhabited. The dream involved a few previous co-workers (from a significant previous employment---some of you will know from what I speak!) There was quite a bit of activity...a World War II tribute on my front lawn of childhood home replete with uniformed veterans. The Air Force Band were playing patriotic music and American flags were posted everywhere. Unknown persons were milling around when I arrived. As I came out of a work conference held down the street to head back home, I noticed a former co-worker and her husband leaving the tribute. The former co-worker was curt, but polite.

My husband was sitting in an area of assembled lawn chairs waiting for my conference to be over. My son's former girlfriend was a new employee at this place and I was there to orient her to my previous job (on-the-job training---I volunteered for it.) I felt a bit of nostalgia for this job that I left many years ago and I remember feeling quite at home in the conference. It was good to see people I had worked with.

I mentioned to the former employee I approached that many old co-workers were down the street. She said she could care less. I was a little hurt by her, but made my way back to my husband, excited to tell him all about the conference. Our children were to meet us at the WW II tribute and then we all planned to go to Babe's for dinner.

The dream was emotional for me, having so many random connections of my life there in one scenario. I remember the feeling of loss of important things in my life that had transpired over a wide block of time. Towards the end of my dream, things unraveled....I lost my way--- all those I love were evaporated one by one and I was left in the front yard of my childhood home. The WW II tribute dis-banded, my husband walked away to talk to an old friend, the kids had other plans and the people at the former job had moved the conference further down the street.

I have pondered about the randomness of the life connections. I'm guessing it had something to do with mortality.

I CAN'T WAIT

I can't wait.

Just one of the images I hope to see.

All Is Right With The World

Did you ever have a block of time in your life that just couldn't be better? I may be in just such a place. Sure, there have been frustrations and sadness. But overall, life is good. There are some exciting times going on with family members. Some of are making strides in personal growth. (Yay, Miss Tootie!)

Some snippets of life's goodness: A very unexpected white Christmas, my family all together.

A January road trip to Tennessee to see Gail and Jack, Rachel, Lance, Will and Maci. The weekend flew by, but Gail and Jack were great hosts and I felt pampered and loved. It was a fabulous time of catching up, relaxation, music and family love.

Since visiting Tennessee, I have made home-made bread a few times. Jack has baked his family's bread consistently for many years. Watching Jack make bread brought to my mind all the pleasure and satisfaction I have had when baking bread in the past.

My youngest spent 10 exciting days in Vancouver for the Winter Olympics. That is an experience that will live in her memory forever.

Work has been rocking along. I work with such a a cohesive group. We ARE a team.

Then, the record-breaking snow in February. Large broken tree limbs everywhere and the Lusk household lost four shrubs and some big tree limbs. The snow was beautiful. I will always remember stepping out on the patio around sunrise and listening to the muffled sounds that come with a heavy snow.

I have booked an Alaskan cruise for myself and two of the kids. I can't even begin to wonder about the things we'll see and experience. This has been a life-long desire. I'm only sorry that I can't share it with Clu Flu. We always "planned" to take an Alaskan trip.

There are other positive things going on that I can't speak of right now. But suffice it to say, I'm happy.

Cheers!